- “Until now, I thought that the worst thing that could happen was the person next to you falling asleep on your shoulder and drooling on your shirt.”
- “The first (and only) time I’ve been on a Greyhound was from BFE Missouri to Phoenix AZ - initially sat next to the shitter because it was the only empty seat, once I moved away from there I had a old creepy bastard get on the bus, stop next to my seat, let his pants fall down, pulled them about half way up, and sat down next to me. He tells me his life story (including how he just got out of prison for armed robbery 7 hours prior) - he then proceeds to stand up (pants fall down again), and make his way to the rest room - and promptly passes out in the doorway. Now the nice gentleman across the isle from me (mind you I was 16 at the time) offers to move to the window seat and let me sit next to him, thus avoiding creepy old man. I agree, it’s close to 1:30AM at this point, so everyone is settling down and trying to sleep. Creepy old man wakes up, comes back to his seat (no pants at all now) pulls out a 40oz can of Natural Light and starts drinking, then pulls out some prince albert (yup, in a can) and rolling papers, and starts rolling his own smokes - lighting up, and generally having a good time. Meanwhile, the nice (soon found out was gay, and creepy) gentleman next to me starts trying to give me a hand job. I (politely) refuse, and turn away from him. A few hours later I wake up to this guy trying to lean over far enough to get my dick in his mouth (smooth operator to get my cock out while I’m asleep and me not wake up) while he’s jerking his own little dick. Needless to say, I promptly moved to the bathroom, and remained there until the next stop (luckily they did a bus transfer because the other one had started fucking up along the ride) - so I picked a seat as far away from the creepy fuckers as possible.
The return trip wasn’t QUITE as bad, only a crack addict trying to stow away in the bathroom in Tulsa (and getting dumped on the side of I44 in the middle of nowhere) - and a guy sitting next to me doing lines of crank off of a bible.
So nah, drool isn’t the worst thing that can happen.”
